PALINdrome: Live Evil


McCain's little token dickless Mooselini took a swipe at crime when she banned the “Rapist #1” Action Figure and streamlined the process of post-rape abuse by making rape victims not only have to carry their rapist’s babies to term, but also pay for their own“rape kits.” Here are some of the kinds of quotes we'll be hearing from stupidest candidate for vice president since…come to think of it, she's the stupidest.

“If God had meant there to be abortions he would have given my mother one.”

“There are no rapists in Alaska, It's polar bears that're doin' our gals!”

“I want to be Vice President so I can have a nuculer weapon; I can hit Russia from my house.”

Palin to new mother rape victim: “Oh look, he has his father’s criminal record!”

Palin to Gays: “What’s wrong with my butthole?”

Palin to teens: “You will abstain! Or you'll end up over my fireplace too.”

Palin to her daughter: “If you get an abortion, I’m getting one too!
I don’t care if it’s a little late.”

“Clubbing baby seals is Gods work”

“If Dick wants to shoot somebody in the face, we gots mooses”

And now for some actual (believe it or not) Palin quotes:

“As for that VP talk all the time, I'll tell you, I still can't answer that question until somebody answers for me what is it exactly that the VP does every day?”

“Pray for our military men and women who are striving to do what is right. Also, for this country, that our leaders, our national leaders, are sending soldiers out on a task that is from God. That's what we have to make sure that we're praying for, that there is a plan and that that plan is God's plan.”

SARAH PALIN IS A M.I.L.K

by numbsain...for you palin supporters: the “K” stands for kill...(you blithering idiot)

Those Strange Americans
The Burps learn about hot things

Good afternoon, I’m James McQuivvers and welcome to Those Strange Americans.
Today we’ll be talking with the Burps of Crotch River Arkansas who have only just recently discovered hot things. Now Mr. Burp were you not the first to discover the phenomenon of hot things?
Mr. Burp: Nehw.
J.Q.: I’m sorry I was told that it was you who first—
Mr B.: Naw, were’nt me. Ah ain’t discovered no fuhmomanon, it were hawt thangs. Ya see, ah was in the kitchuhn and maw was cookin up a big ol’ pot o’ hawg giblets so I went right awn over thar an’ stuck mah fanger in it.
J.Q.: And what did you feel?
Mr. B.: Hungry.
J.Q.: Yes but after you put your finger into the boiling pot what was the sensation in your finger?
Mr. B: Nothin’
BillyBob Burp: Hyik Hyik Hyik Gawl dang paw tell the man whut ya feeled! Hyik Hyik Hyuk he ain’t gawn tell ya.
J.Q.: Why won’t he tell me?
BB.B.: Cuz he’s Stewpid. But lemme tell ya he shore nuff feeled sumpin cuz he jes stood thar a hollerin’ lak a hound dawg in a bear trap, ooohWHEEE!
J.Q.: And why did he not remove his finger from the pot?
BB.B.: Cuz he’s plum STEWPID!
JennyMay Burp: Ah ah ah ah ah tol’ him ta take it out. Ah did.
J.Q.: That was very good JennyMay. You saw your father was in pain and you told him to take his finger out of the pot?
JM.B: Nehw.
J.Q.: But I thought you said—
JM.B.: Nuh-uh, ah tol’ him cuz ah wuz ahurtin’
J.Q.: You mean you empathized, you felt your fathers pain.
JM.B.: Nehw, ah feeled MAH own pu-ayn cuz cuz cuz he done sticked heez corn cawb raht up mah pooky.
J.Q.: Oh my! Ahem well we’re supposed to be discussing things that are hot, JennyMay.
JM.B.: Well ah thunk it wuz plum disgustin’ but when they wartched the video awn the TV down at Gus’s Liquor Barn them folk thunk it was hawt.
J.Q.: If we may stay on the subject. So your father just stood there with his finger in the pot? What happened next?
BB.B.: Wayll ah done had to go awn over thar an heylp ‘eem. Cuz ah ain’t wanna seen ‘eem suffer lahk that.
J.Q.: So you removed his finger from the pot?
BB.B.: Nehw. I hit ‘eem wiff a eye-ron skillet over the hay-ed.
J.Q.: Oh dear wasn’t that a bit cruel to knock him unconscious like that?
BB.B.: Nehw. I ain’t hit ‘eem hard nuff ta knock ‘eem uncronchiss. Jus hard nuff so he put ‘eez hay-unds awn ‘eez hay-ed.
J.Q.: Well of course to protect his head.
BB.B.: Got ‘eez fanger outta the pot.
J.Q.: So did you all realize at that point that a boiling pot is hot?
Jimbo: Nehw. We ain’t buhlieved ‘eem.
J.Q.: So what did you do?
Jimbo: Wayll ah done wint over thar an stuck mah fanger in it.
J.Q.: The pain must have been excruciating.
Jimbo: Nehw. It hurted.
BB.B.: Hyik hyik hyik, yer plum STEWPID Jimbo! OoohWHEE! Yer stewpidder ‘n a possum in a moonshine barrel! Hyuk hyuk!
Jimbo: Shuddup BillyBob! Yer stewpidder ‘n a bearcat in a SEE-ment mixer.
BB.B.: Y’all take that back Jimbo! Ah ain’t neither. Buh-sides iffin it weren’t fer me y’all would still be a-sufferin.’
J.Q.: Did you take Jimbos finger out of the pot?
BB.B.: Nehw. I turned awf the stove.
J.Q.: But it must have taken hours to cool down. How was his finger by the time the pot cooled?
BB.B.: Tender.
J.Q.: I imagine it was more than tender.
BB.B.: Oh, it were mahty tasty too.
J.Q.: You ate his finger?!
Jimbo: Nehw. We done et awl mah fangers. BillyBob tol’ me ah wuz better awf cuz now ah ain’t has ta worry ‘bout stickin’ em in sumpin’ hot.
BB.B.: Hyik hyik hyik ah tol’ ya he wuz plum stewpid!
Jimbo: Hey Billybob, thars one mawr fanger left. It’s mah layest one, ya wawnt it?
BB.B: Don’t mahnd iffin ah do (Chomp, crunch crunch crunch GULP!) Mm-mm that thar wuz mahty tasty. Thank yew, Jimbo...Ya STEWPID HILLBILLY! Hyik hyik hyik har har hyuk!
Jimbo: Hey BillyBob gayess whut, ah done stuck that fanger up uncle grampaw’s POOKY ‘fore ah fed it to ya! HAW HAW HAW HAR HAR! GawlEEE yer stewpid! Y’all jus’ et grampaws pooky scuzz!
BB.B.: WHUT!? AHMO GITCHOO JIMBO!
J.Q.: Well that's our show for today, time's up, cut, is the tape still rolling? Why does every show about these insipid Americans always end up a complete travesty? why do we do this show anyway?
Producer: Uh, cuz Americans lak it.
J.Q.: Why do Americans like seeing how stupid they are?
America: CUZ WE’RE PLUM STEWPID!!!!

by numbsain...an American, but at least he knows he’s stupid.

brought to you by the campaign to keep politicians with so much subconscious guilt that they are testing, much the way a two year old does, to see how far they can go before someone stops them and who are actually hoping to be punished, much the way an abused child does, seeing it as the only way to alleviate their guilt, out of office foundation.

and by the committee to keep mentally unstable torture victims who can't possibly have the ability to run a country after the kind of abuse they have endured because any psychologist knows that shit warps your brain and turns you into a sociopathic, psychopathic, nazi monster, from being elected.
And that sick bitch running mate of his is the most evil wench that ever walked the earth and if you people can't see it and elect them then you deserve the nightmarish living hell they will inflict upon us.

And by the association of people who would rather evolve than devolve back to bloodthirsty barbaric hateful murdering warmongers like say oh, for instance McCain.