Thursday, November 29, 2007

50 Bumper Stickers Likely to Confuse or Anger Fellow Americans (recently revised/updated)

editors disclaimer: The following suggestions are a JOKE and your kind, loving authors do not desire to offend anyone at all whatsoever in any way, shape, or form and cannot be responsible for anyone blowin' a gasket. Please do not be angry at such authors or desire hell-fire upon their souls. Thank you.

50. Nice people swallow
49. Terrified immigrants in trunk
48. If you can read this, I'll bust a cap in your ass!
47. I'd rather be driving
46. My son is a lazy fat ass at ___ Middle School
45. Car carries no driver
44. This is my opinion
43. My child is a retard; he thinks this touts his scholastic achievement
42. Christians for Phariseeism
41. Honk if you're a non-conformist
40. Hillary Clinton also spells "Nylon Tar Chilli"
39. A dirty possum gave me crabs
38. Jesus Loves Me... every night
37. This vehicle equipped with Fred Flintstone brakes
36. Seeing eye dog on board
35. I'd rather be sodomized
34. Kosher Killer Klowns on Board
33. I love bumper cars!
32. Is necrophilia really so wrong?
31. I'm deeply in love with my money grubbing, scum sucking wife
30. Let's all crash into a wall & go to heaven right now!
29. I sure do have to pee in that last stall at the rest stop on Exit 45
28. God asked me to kill you
27. Proud American Nationalistic Ethnocentric Mother Fucker
26. My child ain't squat of the month
25. Jesus wore K-mart sandals!
24. I love golden showers!
23. Jimmy Smokes Crack and I don't care
22. Objects in driver’s seat are smarter than they appear
21. Jesus is my lord and savior....but Tito is my pool boy
20. Why don't you let your student of the month drive?
19. My child was aborted
18. I shoot people who pass me
17. I vomit out my sunroof
16. I love unattended children
15. Steven Hawking is a moron!
14. Driver loves hard licker
13. We're all dead in this car, which is careening out of control as we speak.
12. I eat babies
11. I bought this Mercedes with crack dollars!
10. Catch my 2-year old!
9. As for me and my house, we shall worship a horned hoofed beast
8. Bastard Magnet
7. I'm on acid and this road looks like chocolate
6. Old enough to pee, old enough for me
5. My child is the owner of a Congressional Medal of Honor, the Nobel Prize, and a Pulitzer Prize. Now what was it you were saying about your child?
4. My other car is a piece of shit too
3. Yes I believe in equal rights, Bitch
2. Assholes are just nice people turned upside down
1. How’s my drinking?
~numbsain, Guinness, Cheese, Goldmind