Thursday, November 1, 2007

Mother Duck's Lesser Known, Odd or Disturbing Nursery Rhymes

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Tyler’s Dad was Wealthy

Tyler's dad was wealthy,
Got it from grand dad,
He'd spend his cash on whores and hash to stop from feeling sad.
Tyler's dad was wealthy,
"I'm rich" he sadly sighed.
He could not hide the pain inside so slit his wrist and died.

Chiggadee boop and bee

Chiggadee boop, Chigadee bee,
Oh No! Did the baby pee?
Chiggadee bop, Chigadee ben,
If you want your face slapped, do it again.

The Pirate Boy

Timmy was a pirate
Sailed the sea
He liked to take his cream with tea
Then one day
He said “I’m gay.”
That’s why his crewmen walk that way

Have you a rhyme?

Have you any rhymes to ease my pain?
"Yes I’m a doctor, you may be insane!"
Have you any pills, to help with depression?
"Yes mam, Yes mam. Come to my session!"
Have you any rope, if I run out of hope?
"Just a bit of floss mam, you’d better cope!"
Have you a life, you’d care to say?
"Not really mam, that’s why I blog each day."

Clap, Clap

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Clap, clap
see the baby rap
Chill, Chill
See the baby kill
Rad, rad
now the baby sad
Bye bye
see the baby die

Dung and Stink Poo

Dung and stink poo
Fell from a yew
Rolled down a hill till it ran into Sue
Sue got hurt
Called out to Burt
Who laughed until Sue filled his mouth up with dirt

Jabby Jo

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Jo Jo Jabby Jo, Jabby Wabba Jee,
Can you show me where, a little boy can pee?
Jo Jo Jabby Jee, Jabba Wabba Jo,
Piss off kid, I just don’t know.

Snot, snot

Snot snot
Blow it in a pot
Stick it in the oven
And drink it hot.

Pretty Pete

Pretty Pete
Liked to cheat
He chased a dog who was in heat
Caught her in a ditch
Here’s the hitch
Out came Pete with a baby bitch.

Drew Drew Dragon

Drew drew dragons
Drew drew good
Drew drew his daddy’s ire
Now Drew chews food with wood

Jack Need Help

Jack Sprat was a borderline, his wife was a narcissist
They jumped off a bridge together, now rarely are they missed.

The Honest Parrot

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Oh Polly Bird, have you a word, for an old woman earnest and true?
"Perhaps I would mam, if I gave just a damn, but frankly I want to kill you."

Uncle Sam, Uncle Sam

Uncle Sam, Uncle Sam, make you wise decisions?
"Oh yes, the interest groups will see to that precision."
Uncle Sam, Uncle Sam, will peace you spread afar?
"Of course I will my little child, if gas stays in my car."
Uncle Sam, Uncle Sam, will the earth live life as one?
"That is my goal - we'll save their soul, that's why I use my gun."
Uncle Sam, Uncle Sam, do you love our globe?
"My loyal subjects all I love, now bow before my robe."

Dog and Hog

There once was a dog and a flatulent hog
They coughed, belched and farted, and called it a blog
The blog was a fad
Which wasn’t so bad
Now doggie and hoggie are slightly less sad.


If you like these, check out our other Nursery Rhymes by clicking this link:
Mother Goosed