A Day At The Races

And they're off!
“Adrenaline-Rush” is first out of the gate,
followed by “Steroid-Breath”.
“Equestrian Mark” is in third, two lengths ahead of
“Philly-Baloney” in fourth place.
Pulling up fifth and sixth are “What’s-the-Hurry” and “Salt-Licked” respectively.
Around the first turn it’s “Gal-Up-Front” rallying for the lead ahead of “Ooh-That-Must-Stang”.
Now suddenly “Bee-In-The-Nose ” makes a break on the inside edging out “Quit-Shovin”,
but closing fast is “Saddle-Light” with “Anne-Delusional” hot on his trail.
“Gotta-Pee” is coming on strong in the outside lane nose to nose with “Leg-Cramp”.
“Bad-Oats” still in seventh place behind “Appa-loser”.
Now “Here-to-Whinney” takes the lead after the first lap followed by
“Niegh-Sayer” with
“Horsin’-Wells” and
“Mane-Attraction” in third and fourth.
All of a sudden “Spiked-Feed-Bag” makes a move with
“Stable-Condition” trailing by a length. But
“Eat-My-Dust” shuts the door on “J. Edgar Hooves” and closes in on
“Somethin’-To-Prove” who’s neck and neck with
“Are-We-There-Yet” around the 2nd turn.
Now “Who Knew” is in first place and
“Girls-Gone-Wild” in a close second Taking third is
“Shetland-for-Less” with
“Nag King Colt” in fourth after the 5th lap.
Now suddenly “Pin-Prick” is cutting in ahead of
“Eek-Whine” with “Yo Mama” and
“That’s Mature” pulling up the rear.
Now “Second Wind” comes up from behind followed by
“Hay-Check”. On the inside lane is
“Short-Cut” but pulling up fast is
“Dumb Blond” and she’s in the lead, keeping a length on
“Nice-Butt” with “Yo-Baby” in third and “Outta-My-Way” in fourth.
Coming around the last turn,
“B-12-Shot” makes a strong move pulling ahead of
“Not-So-Fast-Bub” and
“Gaspin’ for Air”. Still in fourth is
“Drawn-and-Quarterhorse” with
“Too-Rich-For-My-Blood” in fifth.
“I’m-Outta-Here”in sixth and
“You-and-Me-Both” in seventh. The number 8 horse is
“Must-Be-Gettin’-Old” and 9th is
“Belchin'-Waffler”. As the horses cross the finish line its
“In-Yer-Face-Suckers” for the win,
“Argh-So-Close” in second,
“He-Bit-Me” in third. Fourth and fifth are
“Sore Loser” and
“Grr-Roan” respectively. 6th place is
“Can We-Eat-Now” with
“There-Gonna-Shoot-Me” in 7th and
“Pasture-Time”,
“Bye-Bye-Cruel-World” and
“Off-My-Back-Shorty” in last place.

~numbsain