by numbsainIn the future, canine linguistics will become a national obsession and after 13 years of breakthroughs in genetic technology, scientists will find a way to make dogs talk. Unfortunately they'll overlooked one minor detail: Dogs don't have anything to say. And so in the future we'll be stuck with a lot of talkative dogs everywhere, babbling mindlessly about nothing in particular.
Harold: "Helpy Helpy! Gimme a penny. Pokey moo gimme spots! People feathers helpy, okay? No! Okay? No!"
The Human: Shut up Harold, stop bothering people, Don't listen to him, he doesn't really understand what he's saying.
Harold: "Bother people under stand really gimme gimme gimme a penny"
The Human: Shush I told you!
Harold: "Sorry sorry sorry gimme a meat. No? Now? No? Now? Meat? Gimme? Now? Now? No no no no. Now? hello, Now? No gimme sorry"
The Human: Now Harold, I have to go in the bank, wait out here and be good.
Harold: "Sorry good bank gimme spots go to the bank gimme? Sorry meat now? Okay okay okay. No!"
The Human: I'll just put this leash on you so you feel safer.
Harold: "Leash helpy yes fishy! Leash. NO NO NO! No Leash. No. No okay okay... Helpy Helpy! Gimme a penny? Fishy people. Now? now? No! Now? No! Yes Yes!!! Gimme Gimmee-e-e... m-e-a-t... p-e-n-n-y... zzzzzzzz...zzzzzzz...zzzzzz...zzzzzzz
The Human: Come on Harold! Let's go, Were you a good boy?
Harold: "People come drive big cars smashing helpy tree. Steps fall on me two people eat my foot. Now? Two people! A big cars drive on me twenty happy happy trees on a cars. Three people have meat gimme a penny! I have butts! I smell two a three people butts. Forty seven or two cars falling me a daddy mommy. Gimme gimme meat or cones helpy. Now? Now? No! No! No no. Okay?"
The Human: Now don't tell stories Harold.
Harold: "Harold tell? Gimme a penny hello Harold feet poll steps damp damp fuzzy doodoo No! No! Bowls cars jumping jumping"
The Human: Now Harold stop wandering off, stay at my heel.
Harold: "Left Front, Right back, Right Front, Left back, Left Front, Right back, Right Front, Left back, Left Front, Right back, Right Front, Left back...."
The Human: Look Harold, another doggy! It's your friend Milly!
Harold: GRO-O-O-W-W-L-L meat people CARS stop doo-doo people helpy moo cars cars TEETH TEETH FISHY TEETH!!!! GRR-R-R!!! BARK! BARK!
Milly: Hair! Bite smelly. Eggs party eggs! Milly, doors doors can of feet GRRRR... little socks toilet hair. Oh no, oh no! GRRRRR-R-R! Me? Me? Please sticky oh no!...
(To be continued... but why?)
