Monday, November 12, 2007

Stalemate

by numbsain

B. Today we have a special guest with us. Someone who needs no introduction, so without further ado, let's bring him out shall we?

Audience: (Applause)

B. We’re just all so excited that you were able to come today and talk with us.
M.R. Oh, sure you were.
B. It’s such a thrill to meet you.
M.R. Big thrills.
B. I’m sure you feel the same way, right?
M.R. Oh, of course! my gosh, this is like the high point of my life.
B. Oh come now, my show’s not that special. I’m sure there are others that are more important.
M.R. More important than this? Gosh no, this is as good as it gets.
B. Oh you’re pulling my leg.
M.R. Who me? I wouldn’t dream of it.
B. Are you sure because you sound a little sarcastic to me.
M.R. Really? I can’t imagine why.
B. Look maybe we should just wrap it up.
M.R. Oh, I’m so disappointed.
B. Your hurting my feelings.
M.R. Aw your feelings? I’m sorry I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.
B. are you sure?
M.R. Positive.
B. You really do like my show?
M.R. Absolutely.
B. Aw, that’s so nice, but you know, I never realized how gullible you were.
M.R. What? are you serious?
B. Hyuk Hyuk! Gotcha!
M.R. You set me up! I’ll get you for this!
B. Oh, a little hostile are we?
M.R. You’re damn right I’m hostile.
B. You’re serious?
M.R. You have no idea. Did you forget, I can destroy you with one phone call?
B. Okay look, I didn’t want to say this but I know what you did with those kids and I’ve got enough on you to have you thrown in prison for a long time, Mr. Rogers!
M.R. Think about it: if I go down, You're going down with me, Barney.
B. Grrr...
M.R. Hmm...

B. It’s a beau-ti-ful day in the neigh-bor-hood a...

M.R. I love you, you love me, were a hap-py fa-mi-ly...

~numbsain