Monday, November 12, 2007

Goldmind Visits Lady Shady: The ADHD Fortune Teller

by Goldmind

Lady Shady, what do you see?

I see mist…fog…

Why is it foggy?

You’re leaning too close to the crystal ball. It’s condensation from your breath.

Oh, sorry. (leans back) Do you see anything now?

Yes…a car…riding down a highway.

A car riding down a highway?


What kind of car?

A 1985 Buick Skylark Sedan with velour upholstery, front wheel drive, and a V6 engine.

Oh. Uh, what is it doing? What’s this about? I mean, what’s the significance of this?

This car once passed you.

Passed me? The car just once passed me? Does this mean anything?


What else do you see?

I see… wait!….I see…you. Yes, you…shopping. You are shopping at a store.

Does this take place in the future?


What store is it?


What am I doing?

You’re buying lightbulbs.

Why am I buying lightbulbs?

A lightbulb burned out at your house…you were out of spare lightbulbs. You went to Walmart to buy lightbulbs…Wait! Wait! There’s something else...


You’re stopping…on your way to the cash register.

Why am I stopping?

You….you…. you’re picking up a soda. A Coca Cola…a Diet Coke. You’re putting a Diet Coke in a basket.

…. Look, maybe you could just tell me something about…you know…my future. Something where I’m not shopping or being passed by a car. Something I’d want to know now that might happen in the future?

I understand. One moment…one moment please… I’m getting something…it’s dark. It’s very dark.

Why is it dark?

It’s night.

Can you see anything?


Well…can you hear anything?

Yes. I hear…crickets…and traffic in the distance.

Where am I?

In California.

I live in California.

You’re in California still. It’s night. You’re in California at nighttime.

Well, what part of California?

I cannot tell. It is too dark.

…is there ANYTHING you can tell me about the future that might be useful?

I see a struggle.

Between who?

You and me.

What? Why?

You didn't go to the ATM and you haven't got the cash to pay me.

What happens?

I take credit cards.