Thursday, January 3, 2008


Mulching Nose Hair Trimmer—Reduces six 4-gallon bags of nose hairs down to one for convenient storage. Strong enough to take the bark off a redwood tree, yet gentle enough to use on a kittens penis! The ultra high speed blades cut cleanly without snagging, yanking or ripping out nose hairs from the root which can be exquisitely painful if done correctly.

Sensi-Smooth Scrotum Laser
—Removes all traces of hair on the entire groin area while you sleep, in the office or even while you're walking on the moon! The patented micro-grip traction wheels painlessly grab your flesh, crawling around your crotch with the same ease any common crotch-crawler would, while seeking out and destroying every follicle one by one. You hardly feel a thing! and after just 3 weeks, you'll never have another hair on your balls! but you'll want to keep using it anyway!

—Just set the little probe free inside your anus and Colon-Eater does the rest. This little marvel takes a complete tour of your lower GI tract in just 4 hours voraciously devouring every scrap of waste in sight including parasites up to 12 inches long! You can feel it working and the Colon-Eater never gets tired of the taste of your fetid, ancient, putrefying waste! It lets you know when it's all full and pops right out. Just keep pulling until the retractable receptacle bag is all the way out and just look at all the surprises you never knew you ate! Bag may be discarded or reused. Simply rinse off the Colon-Eater and convert it to one of the other 5 grooming devices!

—Does everything from routine cleanings to root canals, even extractions and you don't have to pay dentist prices! Easy conversion from the Colon-Eater, just pop it into your mouth and it does the rest! Dentist-in-a-Vial takes X-rays to determine which teeth stay and which ones go and you can even eat while it does it's job! removed teeth are powdered and fed back to you So you don't lose any of your body's precious dolomite. But the best part is, you administer your own novocain and... NITROUS!!! WHOO-HOOO PAR-TAY HEY! HEY! WE'RE GONNA PARTAY ALL NITROUS!!! ALL NITROUS!!! ALL NITR— oops! heh heh!

Finger Friend—Give the Finger Friend a whirl and have the best groomed fingers in the world. Used much the way you would a pencil sharpener, just shove your finger up it's rear port and turn it on! When you pull out your finger, it'll be squeaky clean and perfectly manicured, ready for all those jobs you use your fingers for in this hard to reach world we live in. when you give the Finger Friend you're giving the gift of the finger!

Eye-Ball Polisher and De-Miter
—Many people think they need glasses when all they really need is to have their eye-balls polished! Use while you sleep, drive, work or peep. Yes this little gem is approved by the Peeping Tom's of America Association. And mites? They're a thing of the past! Just spray them with Mite-Mace (included) and after the stinging stops... bye bye mites!

by numbsain "makers of fine detritus since 2008"