Molly: Hey Shelly, you look blobby today.
Shelly: Oh shucks Moll' thanks. I've been extracting more calcium lately. You're looking rather wrinkled and slimy yourself. Are you still dating that mussel?
Molly: Nah. He and this scallop on Shoreline at High tide the knot. How about you Pearl?
Pearl: Well I let this guy into my shell and of coarse he let a grain of sand in...
Shelly: Oh how irritating!
Pearl: Oh tell me about it. He turned out to be shooter for the lob. I swear, no more lobsters.
Molly: So what did you do about the sand?
Pearl: What could I do, I covered it with nacre and made an irregular black, take a look.
Shelly: Well at least its irregular.
Pearl: Yeah, so after that I said: “bye bi-valve...”
Molly: Shh! Clam up Pearl. Here comes your mother.
Shelly: I can't believe that's the mother-of-pearl, look at all those colors?
Pearl: Every one in the rainbow. Yeesh!
Molly: So garish!
Shelly: Oh look girls here comes a human female! Ooh! she's skinny dipping!
Pearl: Oh how beautiful! Oh my, she's going to sit right down on top of me, I'm blessed!
Molly: Aaaaaah! Oh, it's magnificent!
Shelly: Oooooh! Such beautiful creatures! look at that!
Pearl: Oh the aroma is intoxicating! Right now girls, the world is my human!
Shelly: Do they all look like that?
Molly: Not at first but when they get older they really start to blossom.
Pearl: Oh. just look at those wrinkles and folds... just gorgeous.
Shelly: HEY! YOU LITTLE BASTARDS, GET OFFA ME!!!
Pearl: Oh listen Shelly, it's no use. Barnacles are just a part of life.
Molly: Yeah look at all mine.
Pearl: Oh they're not so bad, with the seaweed you hardly notice 'em.
Shelley: I suppose.
Molly: Oh, looks like low tide. G'night girls, don't wake up on the half shell next to a lemon wedge.
by numbsain
Editors note: This is in no way meant to demean, demoralize or make fun of oysters... Um... What am I talking about? Of course it's meant to make fun of those stupid little slimy bi-valve retards of the sea! They're disgusting and I would never eat one. They're raunchy, nasty, bottom feeders filled with poisons and parasites extracted from the disgusting ocean water. And they're NOTHING like women, who ever said that was a moron and aphrodisiac? Puh-leeese.
