Tuesday, January 8, 2008

FINGERS episode 2—“Yech”

[When we last left Fingers, he was trying to convince daddy to kill the clerk at Baskin Robbins by stomping on her head...]

Daddy: No Fingers, we don't just go around stomping on people's heads.

Why not daddy?

Daddy: Uh, because they would die!

Fingers: And your point is?...

Daddy: Fingers, let me explain something. A human life is a precious thing and it's a crime to take the life of one of God's creatures.

Fingers: You're funny daddy. You have feelings, huh? What are they like?

It's impossible to explain, but when two people have feelings for each other and their feelings are meaningful, then they fall in love and they want to share their lives with each other and show their love in a meaningful way. Love is one of life's most beautiful, treasured—

Fingers: HA-HA-HA-HA ha-ha-ha Hee Hee Hoo Hoo FEELINGS ARE SICK! They sound so stupid daddy, I'm glad I don't have disgusting feelings like that!

Daddy: Grrrr...

Fingers: But you love me right daddy?

Daddy: Are you serious, do you really have to ask me that?

No I just wanted to hear you say it again.

Daddy: Oh, okay: NO you demented little butt anemone! I could no sooner love you than I could love a bucket of dead flies. I find you repugnant, repellant and reprehensible. I think you are a snot ball and I'd like to run you through a meat grinder, you hideous mutant retard!

Fingers: It's good to get these feelings out in the open and express them in a meaningful way, daddy...

Daddy: Go suck a turd.

Fingers: Okay, can I have a carne asada flavored turd?

Daddy: Tell you what; Lets pull in to this gas station right here.

(Ding Ding)

Daddy: Hi, where's your rest room?

Attendant: Back there, but I wouldn't use it. Toilets all backed up. Looks like a yeti with dysentery used it last.

Daddy: Perfect thank you! C'mon Fingers.

Fingers: W-Wh-Where are we going daddy... Daddy... It smells bad in here da-A-A-A-dy (SPLOOSH!) Blub-blub DA-A-A-blub-DY-Y-Y!! glub-bl-blub-blug...

(Click SLAM!!!)

[Several hours later...]

Daddy: Jeez I hope he doesn't find his way back *YAWN* guess I'll hit the hay... ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ...

Fingers: Puff-puff... Oh goody! daddy's flat on his back asleep, mouth open!

Daddy: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZglk! ff-SPLECHK!!!! Ptooy! Ptoo! Spit-tooo-o-o! GAG! *Wretch* ....(urp) KA-BA-A-A-RF-F-F

Fingers: Hey Daddy! You had burritos without me?

Will daddy find a way to kill fingers or be rid of the disgusting mutant freak in some other way? Find out in the next nauseating episode of (*gag*) FINGERS!

Also don't forget to check the archives for the previous episode of (*urp*) Fingers... (*KA-HWRAAAALPH!!!* sorry, I really didn't think I was gonna... oh god...)

Created by numbsain... Why? We have no idea.