Monday, January 14, 2008

New Designer Drug—Bane or Boon?

Drugs: America's biggest concern, second only to: war, inflation, global warming, trans fat, immigration, gas prices, fitness and Britney Spears kids. And the latest new drug craze that everyones talking about, the trendy new fad that's sweeping the nation, winning the hearts of drug enthusiasts of all ages from coast to coast is an exciting new mind altering adventure for the whole family called "SPANK!"

SPANK (Sodium Pentatholic Acetyl Niacinamidenated Kelpanol) is a topically absorbed combination mild hallucinogenic, mind altering, euphoria inducing, energy enhancing, inhibition inhibiting, muscle relaxing, sexual enhancing and stress reducing narcotic that has no unpleasant side effects, presents no health risks, feels great and costs just pennies per dose! Safe for children, pets and the elderly, SPANK is "swatted" directly onto the bare skin of any part of the body and immediately gives you a killer rush that makes you feel like a million bucks. it's Inexpensive to make and easy to take, anytime, anywhere! Even while driving! Spank actually increases alertness so you drive better!

Sound too good to be true? Wait, that's not all; SPANK is non-addictive, non-fattening, low carb, low sodium and transfat free! Plus SPANK is so new that it's not even illegal yet!

SPANK can be purchased anywhere kids or adventurous adults hang out. Just walk up to anyone who looks like they feel good and say: "Psst, know where I can cop a dime bag of SPANK?" Chances are you'll be high as a kite in no time and a dime will last you a month! So what are you waiting for? Don't be a fuddy-duddy, swat some SPANK today! Just listen to these testimonials...

“I've got a corporate job and I need something to give me that edge. I tried heroin, meth, coke, pot, crack, alcohol, tse-tse fly extract, even PCP but they were all expensive, socially unacceptable and they interfered with my productivity. Then my secretary came in to my office one day and said, "Drop trou' J.B." Of course my pants were at my ankles before she finished saying "B." I admit I was a little skeptical when she said, "turn around and bend over" but before I could even say "harder" I got the SPANK rush and I was hooked!”

J.B. Crandall
CEO, Lockheed Corporation

"I was a crack ho out in Hunters Point, living trick to trick, barely making ends meat. I looked like shit and business was down. Then one day Hang-Twelve took me over his knee for my daily disciplining, only this time he swatted some SPANK all up on my booty and my life changed after that. Now I get them high class johns!"

Queesha Hamilton
Hi-Class Call Girl

"I'm 5 and a half. My mommy and daddy work all day long and they don't have time to do nothing with me anymore. They leave me with Miss Lisa, she's our house keeper, babysitter and my daddy's girlfriend when mommy's not around. One day when I was bad she spanked me and it made me really happy and I went to my room and played quietly for hours. We figured out that she still had some SPANK on her hand when she smacked my bottom and that's why I was good. So now she hits me up with SPANK everyday and we get along great!"

Bobby Culpepper

"I live in a seniors home and it's so boring I often would contemplate my passing with eagerness. Then one of the ladies from bingo swatted a little SPANK on my arm and now I'm spry as a spring chicken. I've even gotten busy with a few of the orderlies and I must say I gave those young bucks a run for their money too... well, actually it was my money, but what the heck, ya can't take it with ya!"

Gladys Persimmons
Doddering old biddy

To order your free trial size sample of SPANK send $3.95 (Includes Postage and Handling) to:
463 Wildwood Lane
Roanoke, Virginia 24028

by numbsain