Friday, January 11, 2008

Numbsain's Eyewitless NewsFlinch


An Anti-activist group simply known as "The Les Moore Cause" publicized its goal to initiate a movement toward relieving the pressure that big business imposes on the workforce and citizens in general. The groups president, founder, organizer, and staff, Les Moore announced the groups prime goal at a very brief press conference today in which he explained that the current trends that have created overworked, overtaxed and over-stressed citizens living in an environment which is undermining our right to happiness, should change.

In his own pithy words, Mr. Moore simply said: "It's all too much, ...enough already." The speech, which was televised nationwide, succeeded in gaining widespread support for "The Les Moore Cause" in most areas, the majority of which came from the lower income working class demographic who work the hardest and benefit the least from the ever-increasing demands of corporate super powers. It was explained that if the entire workforce simply cut back on the hours they spend at work and the pace at which they work, there would be no economic impact other than a reduced profit margin for the big wigs, but it must be agreed upon unanimously in order for it to work. If some continued to succumb to these demands they would stand to improve their income by about 12 percent but at the expense of their more cooperative neighbor and their gains would never elevate them financially to a position of any significant power or change in their lifestyle.

The concept is simple: relaxing, cooking healthy meals at home and spending time with your family costs less than running around frantically eating fast food, getting drained and sick from overworking, bailing your kids out of trouble plus paying doctors bills and excessive transportation costs. Its all part of a plan by big business to suck our life blood out of us so they can have everything while we slowly die. But their plan is shortsighted because you can't be the ruler over all people without people to be the ruler over.

Les Moore said: "They'll never give you what they have, so why give 'em what they want? All we're doing is bustin' our asses cause they said to. I say fuck 'em." Mr. Moore, who prefers to be called “Les,” feels completely confident that his dream will be a reality. "It'll happen." Les said off the record after the conference to a independent reporter who was able to conduct a brief but informative supplementary interview with Les.

I.R.: So Les, do you feel that life has become far too complicated and difficult for the average person and we must, as a people strive to get back to basics and endeavor to eliminate all the unnecessary pressures of business which are at the root of the problem .

Les: Uh-huh.

And doing so, you feel, will greatly reduce such societal problems as suicide, crime, divorce, violence and mental illness in all levels of society by easing the pressure that continues to wear on us all more and more each year?

Les: Right.

I.R.: Is "The Les Moore Cause" prepared to re-educate people as to the simpler, easier way of life about which you speak in order to bring about this major change, albeit a change for the better?

Les: No.

I.R.: Well then how do you intend to carry out this plan and ensure that your vision be realized?

Les: It'll happen.

I.R.: So you feel that simply by planting the seeds for change, you've set the wheels in motion sufficiently and you need only to sit back and watch this dream unfold into reality?

Les: Yeah.

Could it really be that simple? Apparently the answer was yes because Les has walked away during my question and made no further statement to the contrary. So I must conclude that I've captured the gist of what he was saying and synthesized it down to its essence.

Apparently Les and "The Les Moore Cause" has been campaigning for several days now and according to Les, his work is done and he plans to disband the organization and retire. We here at Numbsain's Eyewitless Newsflinch feel that we've just witnessed the work of one of the great visionaries of our time and it's up to us now to see that what Les has started, comes to fruition. The new catch phrases for the movement are certain to be resounding in our ears soon as the "The Les Moore Cause" evolves and materializes before our eyes.
Those catch phrases are:

"Relax" "Take it easy" "Don't work so hard" "Enough is enough" and "Fuck 'em"

by numbsain