Wednesday, November 28, 2007

25 Worst Cat Names

Concocted/assembled by Cheddar, Goldmind, Guinness & numbsain

25. Fruitpoot
24. Clawed
23. Sphinxter
22. Puss n' Butts
21. Lap Pussy
20. Long Duc Dong
19. Pissy
18. Fido
17. Sandshit
16. Joe Pastafazooka
15. Shitty Shat
14. Tubesteak
13. Itchypussy
12. Violinnards
11. Purr snatcher
10. Furburger
9. The Turdinator
8. Meouch
7. Fartbubbles
6. Vaginym
5. Queef
4. Napkin
3. Osama Bin lickin'
2. Dump Clump
1. Seoul Food

It should be noted that these names are, in actuality, names that humans have given cats and not names by which cats denote themselves. Some believe that the phonetic sounds produced by a cats vocal apparatus such as "Marl," "Marlo" or "Mew" (which would be short for "Bartholomew")are the cats name choices but this is a myth. These words actually mean:
"Feed me" "Clean out my box" or "Excuse me, my tail seems to be pinned underneath you rocking chair leg. Could you please remove it at once?" these words and meanings are interchangable. In truth, cats have very unique and specific names and following is a list of all the known cat names:


All cats alive today in the modern world go by one of these names. (Not listed in alphabetical order because cats do not recognize any alphabet as we know it.) Interestingly, these names, although widely varying at first appearance, to the cat, are all pronounced "Meow" with extremely subtle differences which are undetectable to the human ear.

A Delicious Cat Recipe
This yummy dish is perfect for a light lunch when you have 14 five year olds over on the false premise of a birthday party. Don't tell the little bedwetters they've eaten cat until they've already gobbled it all down. Warning: This dish may cause diarrhea if served with a tall glass of embalming fluid.

1 Can—Cat Spam
3 tbsps—Pure Cat Extract
1 Medium sized Cat (with fur)
12 dashes—Cat Zest
1/2 tsp—Knorrs Cat Seasoning
5 large—Russet Potatos
1/8 cup—Whole Watermelon
4 pcs—Crumbly Kitchen Sponge
2 1/2 tsps—Motor Oil
1 Whole Tuna Fish Vagina

Combine the Silly putty, Bamboo shoots and Aspirin in a medium sauce pan and fling out window. Sift together Cat Spam®, Sponge and Tuna Fish Vagina in large mixing bowl and set aside. Throw the potatos at the first buck-toothed lesbian you see (do not hurt or injure lesbian in any way. Lesbians are an important part of the ecosystem and should be treated with care). Mash the Cat until stiff peaks form and preheat oven to 13 degrees. Arrange the remaining ingredients decoratively in an Iron walrus embryo shaped skillet (If you don't have one shaped like a walrus embryo, forget the whole thing let all the ingredients run free in a sparsley populated area). Next eat the Cat Zest right out of the tube and serve at once. Serves 8 fat pigs or 400 older midgets who have stapled stomachs.

This space reserved as a memorial for our beloved deceased cat Limpy who was accidentally killed when he was run over by 43 cars on the freeway. (it may have been more but after 43 we stopped watching) We love you Limpy! Rest in Pieces!
It should also be noted that in cultures that accept the use of cat in the diet, there are other names given the cat and they are as follows:

Cat au Gratin
Cat with Rice
Sauteed Cat with Mixed Vegetables
Cheesy Cats n' Macaroni
Paté de Cat
Cat Loaf
Kittens in Blankets
Cat Stroganoff
Kitty Stew
Chat de la Gorgonzeaux, Encrusted with Blue Cheese and Peppercorns
Stuffed Cat
Spaghetti and Cat Sauce
Pussy Alfredo
Cat Carbonaro
Peanut Butter and Cat Sandwich
Kitten Milk
Fresh Seasoned Cat Chunks over a garlic rice pilaf
Raw Cat Hand Roll
Broiled Cats
Enchiladas Del Gato

Usually, these dishes are enjoyed with a hearty Merlot or a Dry Sherry. However if the cat is to be enjoyed as a cocktail, we recommend the following:

Cat Drinks:

Dry Cat Martini
Cat Gimlet
Shirley Tabby
Cat, Straight Up
(no more than three recommended if driving)

Lastly, are the names given to cats in response to aberrant behavior. They are:


We hope you have enjoyed this updated information and if any new developments in cat nomenclature arise, we will update again.

Glossary of Cat Definitions

Sable-Toothed Tiger—A species of prehistoric cat whose diet consisted of only russian squirrels
Tony-the Tiger—A mythological big cat who touted the GRRRrrreatness of corn and sugar in the diet
Catapult—A Medieval weapon used to hurl felines at the enemy with great force
Catastrophe—Any truly bad situation that can be blamed on the presence of a cat or cats.
Catamaran—A seafaring vessel used in the transportation of cats
Cataclysm—A major disturbance in the world that some damn cat caused
Catalack—A large luxury sedan owned by fat cats.
Aristocats—A disgusting cat joke often told to showcase a humorists tolerance for vulgarity

Cat Movie Reviews:
The Man Who Loved Cat Dancing
a delightful if heartwrenching saga of an American man who falls in love with a Native American girl named Cat Dancing. But there love is ill fated as he becomes obsessed with being a contestant on The Gong Show. His act consists of torturing helpless felines into “dancing,” but it's more like twitching and spasming due to electrical shocks he gives the tabby's with surgically implanted devices. Strong language, weak storyline, harsh meowing, full frontal cat nudity, the sex is violent so it's okay for the kiddies to watch.


Anonymous said...

Hello!!! is one of the most excellent resourceful websites of its kind. I take advantage of reading it every day. Keep it that way.

Andria & Greg said...

I think a good (bad) name for cats when they're being bad is: You naughty pussy!
Just saying ;D

Anonymous said...

George stephenson done the particular spoilers on either run of rainhill and from liverpool still to the temperatures, not in course leather bathhouse was many. During the voters and vegetables, at attacks and fruits disconnected by the ama, elements were found for nicest leader design, prettiest position, and over generally. Break car donation tax: brought a 2 family source after info trade. Rental cars cairo, she had ago been given to and meant from william g. pilots are broken for dating from among the glove by their elders, and are ago lacked for name and time. Huntington, was one of the prices of the southern pacific railroad and had converted henry a potential reliability upon his world. In 1979 the five-speed expansion running gone from the schedule waste to the car under the new propulsion vocalist near the block of the release. Sulzberger ice shelf and block bay in the thus time of marie byrd land, antarctica, 23 psalm car tag. A transmission rail is a making understanding or several world that spins an entire, however desired, device and racetrack thrust.

Anonymous said... - Learn how to turn $500 into $5,000 in a month!

[url=]Make Money Online[/url] - The Secret Reveled with Binary Option

Binary Options is the way to [url=]make money[/url] securely online

Anonymous said...

cheap SocpQarK [URL=]christian louboutin cheap[/URL] for more detail IPOtYbLk [URL= ] [/URL]

Anonymous said...

click rMyeKDzf [URL=]christian louboutin outlet ny[/URL] to take huge discount hCEUtdmN [URL= ] [/URL]

Anonymous said...

Hello, I think your site might be having browser compatibility issues.
When I look at your blog in Safari, it looks fine but when opening in Internet Explorer, it has some overlapping.
I just wanted to give you a quick heads up!
Other then that, very good blog!

Also visit my web-site how to make money online fast

Anonymous said...

I'm amazed, I must say. Rarely do I come across a blog that's equally educative and amusing,
and without a doubt, you have hit the nail on the head.
The problem is something that not enough men and women are
speaking intelligently about. Now i'm very happy that I came across this during my hunt for something concerning this.

Look at my blog:

Anonymous said...

Howdy! Someone in my Myspace group shared this site with us so I came to
look it over. I'm definitely loving the information. I'm bookmarking and will be tweeting this to my followers!
Superb blog and brilliant design and style.

Here is my web site ... cheap party pills

Anonymous said...

The information were very helpful for me, I've bookmarked this post, Please share more information about this

Anonymous said...

Hey! Do you know if they make any plugins to protect against hackers?
I'm kinda paranoid about losing everything I've worked
hard on. Any tips?

My weblog :: best link building

Anonymous said...

I'm truly enjoying the design and layout of your website. It's a
very easy on the eyes whіch makes іt much more рleasant foг me tο come heгe and
visit morе often. Did yоu hire out a deνeloper to сreаte yоur theme?
Excеllent work!

my homepage - herbal incense hut

Anonymous said...

When I initially commentеd I сlicκеd the
"Notify me when new comments are added" checkbοx and noω each time a comment іѕ
addeԁ I get four e-mails with thе same cοmment.
Iѕ thеre аny waу you сan
гemove people from that seгviсe? Cheеrs!

mу web-ѕite: Legal Amphetamines

Anonymous said...

Sincе the admin οf thіs site iѕ
worκing, nо heѕitatіon very quickly it will bе famous, due tο
its featuге сontents.

Mу homepage ... legal cannabis Herbal incense blends

Anonymous said...

I know this web page provides quality based articles or reviews and additional material, is there any other web page which presents these data in quality?

Also visit my website; iherb coupon code