Monday, March 2, 2009

by numbsain

It’s time to clear the cobwebs out of the old gray matter and see if you can shake anything loose from your tired old memory banks. Goldmind's Unwind is going to make you think today but its for your own good. You’ll be given a pop quiz later.

Haley Joel Osment (Sixth Sense) said:
1. I smell dead people.
2. I find dead people very sexy.
3. I see growth opportunities in the consumer electronics market.
4. I see dead people.

Porky Pig (Looney Tunes) said:
1. Abadee-abadee-abadee that’s all folks.
2. Homina-homina-homina I’m outta here.
3. Uh-h-h, duh, uh-duh-h-h-buh huh-uh...
4. Um, um, um, wait, no, er, um, there was something else I wanted to say...I think.

Bugs Bunny (Looney Tunes) said:
1. Where’s Waldo?
2. Wussup Foo’?
3. What’s goin’ down, nurse?
4. What’s up, doc?

Roger Moor (James Bond) said:
1. Shaken, not stirred
2. Shake ‘N Bake! And I helped!
3. Pureéd not Frapped.
4. Agitated, not gyrated

Wesley Snipes (White Men Can’t Jump) said:
1. You’re darn tootin’!
2. You ain’t just diddlin’ Trixie!
3. You’re damned skimpy with the cheese! Put some cheese on that bad boy!
4. You’re damn skippy!

Tom Hanks (Forrest Gump) said:
1. My mama always said, “Life is like a bucket of fresh squeezed chickens milk.” I have no idea why my mama said that.
2. My mama always said, 'Life was like a box of chocolates; you never know what you're gonna get.'
3. My cousin always said, “Have you ever had an root beer enema?”
4. My mama is so stupid, her son was born a retard.

The Hal 9000 computer (2001: A Space Odyssey) said:
1. Dave, I just love that shirt on you! is it Com de Garcon?
2. Dave, I’ve been watching you and I think you’re one sexy spaceman!
3. Dave, this conversation can serve no purpose anymore. Goodbye.
4. Dave, does this memory card make my ass look fat?

Arnold Schwarzenegger (in The Terminator) said:
1. Dos tacos al pastor y horchata por favor.
2. Hasta la vista, baby.
3. Yo quiero taco bell, pinche putto.
4. See you real soon, pumpkin.

Oliver Hardy (in Laurel and Hardy)said:
1. Well, here’s another nice mess you’ve made. Clean it up!
2. Well, here's another nice mess you've gotten me into!
3. Well, here’s another milkbone biscuit, go chew on it!
4. Well, here’s another nice dress I can no longer fit into!

Colin Clive (as Dr. Henry Frankenstein) said:
1. It’s Live! From Madison Square Garden!
2. The Hills Are A-live With the Sound of Mu-sic...
3. Is it still alive? Ew! Kill it, squish it, Igor!...Did you get it? It’s on ME NOW! EEEEEEK! GET IT OFFA ME! Yechh! I hate kittens!
4. It’s alive! ALIVE!

Dustin Hoffman (in The Graduate) said:
1. Mrs. Robinson, you're trying to seduce me. Aren't you?
2. Mrs. Robinson, could you let go of my penis? You’re going to break it.
3. Mrs. Robinson, weren’t you around when, like, Jesus roamed the Earth?
4. Mrs. Butterworth, You’re trying to grease me up and take me home. Aren’t you?

Roy Scheider (in Jaws) said:
1. You're gonna need a bigger boat.
2. You gonna eat that chicken? Do you mind if I do?
3. You’re gonna need to speak up, I’ve got meat in my ears.
4. You’re gonna need to milk that goat.

Robert Duvall (in Apocalypse Now) said:
1. I love the smell of pee-pee in the morning
2. I love the smell of daffodils in spring.
3. I love the smell of napalm in the morning.
4. I love the smell of Folgers in the morning.

Harrison Ford (in Star Wars) said:
1. May I force it in you?
2. May the crabs of a thousand hookers infest your undershorts.
3. May the force be with you.
4. May your dreams be merry and bright... and may all your testicles be white.

Claude Rains (in Casablanca) said:

1. Round up the usual suspects.

2. Go gather all the nuts and berries you can find and put them all in a nice little gift basket then throw in a dead squirrel and send it to me ex-wife. DO IT NOW!
3. Round off the edges a little and put it in the baby’s playpen.
4. Get some guys off the street, tie their dicks together and drive an ice cream truck past them. Oh they’ll cooperate all right.

Lauren Bacall (in Casablanca) said:
1. Louie, I think you should just lay low before somebody breaks wind of this.
2. Louis, I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship.
3. Louis, I think this is the part where you boink me.
4. Froot Loops is the fun part of this complete breakfast.

Tracy Lords (in any porn she was in) said:
1. Ooo-o-oh, oh, oh, (slurp) OOOH! Mmm-m-mm...
2. Ooo-o-oh, oh, oh, (slurp-GULP!!!…Ka-BH-A-AAAARFFF! kak) You fuckin’ PIG! I told you: NOT IN MY MOUTH!
3. Ha ha-ha-ha-ho-ho-hee-hee-hoo-hoo! Aha-ha-ha!
4. OW! Dammit, not in the butt you retard.

Judy Garland (in Wizard of Oz) said:
1. There’s no place that serves booze at this time of night.
2. There’s no place to put your drink? Forget it, I didn’t want to see this movie anyway.
3. There’s no booze at home.
4. There’s no place like home.

Bette Davis (in All About Eve) said:
1. Fasten your seat-belts, I’ve had a lot to drink.
2. Tighten my girdle, I’m looking bumpy tonight.
3. Fasten your seat-belts, it's going to be a bumpy night.
4. Fasten your seat-belts and put your tray in the upright position. In the unlikely event of a water landing your seat cushion may be used as a floatation device...

An actor (in King Kong) said:
1. Oh no, it wasn’t the airplanes, it was trans-fat that killed the beast.
2. Oh no, it wasn’t the airplanes, it was beauty that killed the beast.
3. Oh no, it wasn’t the airplanes, it was bad special effects that killed the beast.
4. Oh no, it wasn’t those airplanes, it was the one that was obstructing his colon.

Humphrey Bogart (in Casablanca) said:

1. Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she’s gotta pick one with 

2. Of all the sock drawers in all the dressers in all the rooms, she’s digging through
mine. C’mon ma, get the hell outta there! Oh great, she found my pot.

3. Of all the butt holes of all the guys in the whole prison, he thinks mine is the prettiest.

4. Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine.

James Cagney (in White Heat) said:
1. Ma, I made it! Oh shit! Now there’s no toilet paper! Maaaaa!...
2. Ma, I made it at school…It’s a beautiful necklace for you…out of macaroni.
3. Ma, I made it…Top of the world!
4. Ma, I made it…Yes I used a condom!

Bonus Pop Quiz
As promised, you get to test your knowledge of carbonated beverages.

Which soft drink precedes their name with the word “Yahoo” in their slogan?
a. Elvis Goo
b. Yoo-hoo
c. Mountain Dew
d. Wally’s Pig Swill-ade

What was the illegal drug that was included in the original CocaCola recipe?
a. Heroin
b. Crack
c. Lysergic Acid Diethylamide
d. Cocaine

When Ray Charles say’s “You got the right one baby,” to what is he referring?
a. One of his testicles
b. The smaller of the two bags of heroin
c. Pepsi Cola
d. The hotel room door on which Paris Hilton has just knocked

What popular soda brand name includes a number and a direction?
a. 5-south
b. 7-up
c. 66-west
d. 4-Go down the hall, make a left, it’s your first door on the right, you can’t miss it.

What is the name of the soda that contains negative subliminal messages?

a. Joe Killyan’s Root Beer (containing the words “Kill ya”)

b. Diet Coke (containing the words (Die ok)

c. Jify Oudie Whocarester Ginger Ale (containing the words “if yOu die Who cares”)

d. Orange Rush (contains the word “anger”)

What soft drink offers twice the caffeine of Coke?
a. Jumpy’s Coffee Soda
b. Schwing-a-Ling
c. Jitter Juice
d. Jolt Cola

Which of the following is the correct soda brand name?
a. Mr. Pepper
b. Uncle Pepper
c. Señor Pepper Gonzalez
d. Dr. Pepper

Which of the following is the correct soda brand name?
a. Sierra Swill
b. Sierra Cola
c. Sierra Mist
d. Sierra Madre

Which of the following is the correct soda brand name?
a. Splat
b. Splooge
c. Whizz
d. Squirt

Which of the following is the correct soda brand name?
a. Mother-In-Law’s Root Beer
b. Step Sis’s Root Beer
c. Second Cousin Twice Removed’s Root Beer
d. Dad’s Root Beer

Movie Quotes Quiz Answers: 4,1,4,1,4,2,3,2,2,4,1,1,3,3,1,2,1,4,3,2,4,3
Pop Quiz Answers: c,d,c,b,b,d,d,c,d

By numbsain…better learning through cheating.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Keep on having to re-visit for a decent read, keep on blogging hon,