Napoleon Christ is the recently discovered talent of Goldmind's Unwind. We've searched almost every mental institution in the country looking for literary talent unequaled in the field of published prose. What we found is that there is no deeper, more artistic, or drool filled writer on the planet than one Napoleon Christ. We offer one of his submissions here for your approval.
Diarrhetoric
I scream! I cry!
I put horseradish on hair pie!
I melt! I fry!
I've tried the cream of sumyung gai
The birds, they scream,
the worms, they dance
Now who the hell
just shit my pants?
The orderly is bald and fat,
and when I play with poop,
well, he hates that!
The voices scream inside my head,
My penis may as well be dead,
for all the good it's doing me,
just dangling there,
even when I pee.
I know that they're all watching me
Even though they think that I can't see
but I keep secrets skillfully
and store my drugs up anally
until the day they release me
back into society
Oh my God what was that sound?!!
what is that smell that's wafting 'round?
what is that rumbling in the ground?
It's nurse O'rourke, and pound for pound
She's the largest beast I've ever found
to cuddle with on my small cot.
Thanks to the state it's all I've got,
Except for a case of bad dry rot
and a rusted out old chamber pot,
where every night I sit and squat,
and mumble my forget-me-nots.
And struggle hard not to weep
From lack of freedom, lack of sleep
Why oh why did I chase that sheep
and offer it my heart to keep?
Now I'm married to the wooly creep,
and do you think that she'd come visit me?
To see how miserable I can be?
even stoned on prozac or PCP?
'cuz though I'm locked up, my heart's still free?
Come here O'rourke! I need titty!
Time to suckle.
Time to cry.
Time to kiss my ass goodbye
Until I write again
you fools!
You can all swing from
my family Jewels!
-Napoleon Christ-
