HEROIC DAVE and Damsel in Distress!

[Heroic Dave has just pulled the DAVEMOBILE into the garage]

HD: Do I spy a Damsel in Distress? I'll save you with my bionic lips... *SMOOCH* Take that!

DD: Yes dear.

HD: What's that I smell? Could it be? It's my arch nemesis... The GIANT BEEF of BLACK ANGUISH and his evil cronies, THE VEGGIE BOYS and THE MASHER of potato!! FEAR NOT, fair damsel, I'll save you! Stand back...

HUNGERMAN TO THE RESCU-U-U-U-E!!! With my bionic fork of death, I attack the GIANT BEEF MONSTER and his dastardly side dishes! HAhglmph! Chomp! Chomp! Chomp! Glp! TAKE THAT!!! Chomp! Chomp! Choff choff chomp chew Glp! AHAH! I've got them right where I want them!

Hold it right there, Veggie boys! You're not getting away that easy, take thalmph, chomp chomp chew glp! Wait, I need help from my trusty friend, COLE BEVRIDGE!! glik-glik-glik-glik Aaah! That's better, thanks Cole, I owe you one. Where was I?

You there! STOP! In the name of the law! Your tasty days are OVER pal! Chomp chomp chomp HA-HAH! Chew chew chew You're no match for me you scoundrel! Gulp! You're safe now, ma'am! Those fiends are finished and once again, law and order has been restored, Oh, by the way, those villains were delicious honey, thanks.

DD: You're welcome dear.

HD: Well, my work is done here. HUNGERMAN, AWA-A-A-AY-Y!!!

[several hours later]

HD: All's quiet on the front, looks like a job for... SLEEPYMAN!!

DD: Oh! Sleepyman!

HD: Where ever pillows lurk... Sleepyman, to the rescue...(yawn)

DD: Oh honey, would you get the light? It's too bright in here.

HD: What's that? My Arch nemesis, the evil Illuminator! Have no fear ma'am, SWITCH FLICKER will save you from that scum! FLICK OFF! Hah! Take that you fiend! Don't worry ma'am, you're safe now.

DD: Thanks, honey.

HD: Just doing my job, ma'am. Goodnight!

DD: Goodnight!

HD: Drat!

DD: What is it now dear?

HD: I sense trouble lurking. There's an evilness to be dealt with and I'm just the man for the job. It's... THE URINATOR to the BATHR-O-O-O-M-M! Evil Bladder, I'll show you, Hah! take that TOILET BOY! (FLUSH) Bye bye evil urine. And once again, all is safe! Thanks to... THE URINATOR.

DD: Oh my! What would we do without you?

HD: God only knows. G'night zzzzzzZzZzZzZZZZZZZZZZ...

DD: (sigh)

HD: Do I hear a damsel in distress?

DD: (gasp) Oh, but who will save me?

HD: HAVE NO FEAR, FAIR MAIDEN! THIS LOOKS LIKE A JOB FOR...

[We interrupt this program to bring you a special news bulletin. Blah blah blah, dum de dum... la la la, yada yada... and now we return to our program in progress:]

HD: ...Scotty, I need more power to the thrusters! I'm givin' 'er all I can Captain, she's gonna blow sir.... Hard aport! READY PHOTON TORPEDOS!... FIRE!... There! That ought to do the job! All is safe on the front.
Where ever evil (yawn) lurks... and there's... justice to bee zz-zzz-zzzzzZZZZZZ

DD: My Hero.


by numbsain "Where ever boredom lurks, numbsain does something"

When time needs repair, Quadrax is there!

Quadrax has only a few nanoseconds left to go in a critical photon-cell recharge sequence, when he's assigned another maximum priority mission. The dispatch beacon flashes his dock release sensor, instananeously thrusting his transport luge into a hyperslide foldpath. Four picoseconds later, the luge is repositioned 427 light years away in a distant galaxy.

"Travelling, even at thousands of times the speed of light, just takes too damn long."

Instructions simultaneously reach his cognition ports preparing him for the situation just 8 picoseconds before the arrival of the anomaly. It's a temporal splice de-synchronization in the carbotertian sector M386 where the sentient inhabitants are highly dependent on perceptual continuity, especially when it comes to the sequential linearity of their precious time continuum.

"The very structure of their minds would disintegrate without it."

Quadrax must mend the splice almost instantaneously or Dennis Baxter, CEO of Genentech Corporation, Planet Earth 12.23.2007 will step out of his elevator into the rowing deck of a Viking cargo vessel off the coast of Birka, a medieval Swedish village circa 935 A.D.!

"If the shock doesn't kill him, the Vikings will! But not if I can help it."

With three short bursts of modified tri-gamma radiation, he manages to shift the misaligned temporal splice and fall back into the foldpath redocking to his port within picoseconds of losing his entire .3 millisecond recharge sequence. Which would mean every repair he had ever made would have never happened!

"Whew! That was a close one!"

But it was all in a millisecond's work for...
QUADRAX... TEMPORAL REPAIRBOT!

"Keeping the continuum contiguous for ALL corporeal lifeforms!"

Don't blink or you might miss the next exciting episode!

by numbsain