“Wh-what happened? Where am I? Why do I feel so strange? There's someone, maybe they'll know... Um, excuse me, sir... Where am I? What is this place?”
“You are here.”
“Yes but where is ‘here’ exactly?”
“Just be glad you're here.”
“Why?”
“Consider The Alternative. Ha ha ha ha ha!”
“Great, he was no help at all. What an asshole... OW!”
“I'm sorry sir but that kind of language is not permitted here.”
“Why not, where are we?”
“Just follow the white line and keep walking.”
“What? Why do I have to keep walking?”
“So you get there.”
“Get where? What if I don't want to get there?”
“Consider The Alternative. Ha ha ha ha ha ha!”
“What the... Forget this keep walking on the white line crap, I'm gonna go over here and sit down until somebody tells me where the hell I am...OW! What is that? Why do I keep getting an electric shock?
“Because you used profanity.”
“So fuckin' wha-OW!”
“Now get back on the white line and keep walking or else...”
“Yeah I know, consider The Alternative ha ha ha, right? Trust me pal, I am considering The Alternative.”
“But this is the right way, this way is good, The Alternative is bad.”
“Well, so far I'm not liking the ‘right’ way. It ain't so ‘good’ from what I can see.”
“But that's because you're not following the rules.”
“I don't give a shit ab-OW-t the rules. I'm not following no damn whi-OW! ...no white line.”
“Then you should get on the bus.”
“What, this bus here? Why, where does it go?”
“Read the sign on the front.”
[THE ALTERNATIVE HA HA HA HA]
“Yeah? I think I will.”
[several hours later]
“End of the line, all out for The Alternative!”
“Hey thanks, I never paid the fare. How much I owe you?”
“That's okay, no charge.”
“Thanks... Woah! This place looks dreary. Kinda dark on these streets. What's that? A bar, cool!
Hey, a blues band. They sound pretty good. Hey bartender lemme get a fuckin' Scotch over here!
“You got it pal."
“Alright, I can cuss. Hey anybody sittin' here?”
“Be my guest.”
“Thanks. So who owns this place?”
“I do.”
“Hell, it's better than where I was. What's your name?”
“Lucifer. And yes, I think Hell is a lot better. Enjoy your stay.”
“Fuckin' A Right! I think I like The Alternative. Ha ha ha ha ha ha!”
by numbsain
1 comment:
I was standing on a bridge at midnight when a thought came in my head, "whot was I doing here when I could be reading numbsains blogs instead!"
Or
If you are below thirteen or maybe not!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was sittinng on the loo at midnight when a thought came in my head "Whot am I doing sitting here when I could have just wet my bed!!!!!!!!!"
Or even.......
I was sitting on the loo at midnight, feeling really broken hearted, I left me bed too sit here and have only farted!!!!!!!!!!
love your stuff Numbsain, could you continue
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