Goldmind's Unwind

I Wanted a Bag of Food


I went out last night for a bag of food. I didn't want to buy food on a plate because someone would have to ask me what I wanted, go get it and then bring it to me. Then while I was eating it they would come over and ask me a stupid question and I'd have to answer with my mouth full. They would make me pay for the food plus give them money for doing all that stuff and I couldn't afford all that. So I just wanted a bag of food.

I went to a place where they had food in bags but they weren't home. I could see the bag of food I wanted but I couldn't get to it because there was glass between me and the food. A furry thing ran by but i couldn't catch it because it ran too fast. It was like a bag of food but it was a fast bag and I wanted food that stayed still and let me eat it.

I got back in my car and drove it on a road that had other places with bags of food along the sides of it. I saw one with a person inside so I made my car go there. I stopped just before I crashed into it in a place with lines on either side of a place the size of my car. I got out and walked the rest of the way to the place with bags of food and someone home. I pulled on the glass that moved so I could get the bag of food but it didn't move anymore. I think it stops moving after it gets dark because there are more bad people around when its dark and I guess bad people take too many bags of food or something.

The person home made a gesture with his hands while looking at me. I guess that means the gesture is telling me something I'm supposed to understand. The glass was too thick for him to talk to me through and he wanted to talk to me so I went closer to him and he moved his head in a funny way. I did the same thing but he just did it again so I saw where this was going. I just said, “I want a bag of food.” He had lots of bags but he was smart and picked one for me. Then he came back and told me, “one oh ate” I said that's okay as long as there was still some in there for me. Then he just stood there looking at me and not giving me the bag.

After a while I remembered he probably wanted money. So I got some out of my pocket and he opened the drawer in front of me from inside. I knew he wanted me to put the money in it so I did. He looked at the money and said, “ate more sense.” I agreed but he just stood there. A furry thing ran by and I thought about it but it was kind of fast and I wasn't sure if I would like it so I thought, maybe he wants more money. I reached into my pocket and all I had was eight pennies. I put them all in the drawer and he gave me the bag of food. As I was about to leave he said something really strange, “Thank you come again.” I said, “I'll see, but I have to have a reason otherwise I won't.” He was already walking away.
I got in my car and started to eat the food in the bag. It was crunchy and salty but it was food so I ate it all. I didn't know what to do with the bag though. It was pretty and had lots of pictures on it so I went back over to the guy and told him to open the drawer again. When he did I gave him the bag back. It was a nice bag.

But for some reason he got mad at me and pointed his finger up and showed it to me. It was a finger so what. I showed him mine and then it got really weird. I think he said he wanted to make love to me and he thought I was his pal. People are so unpredictable sometimes.

I got back in my car and made it go toward my house. The whole time while I was turning the thing and pushing the peddles I kept thinking about the bag of food. I wished I still had it. Not the bag but the food inside. Then it hit me. It wasn't enough food. I didn't know what to do. I saw a truck with pictures on the outside of it. The pictures looked familiar, I wanted the things that the pictures were of. I pulled in front of the truck and then made my car stop quickly by stepping on that thing down there. I wanted those pictures! The driver got out and said, “Peen chay pen day ho ess too pid oh are jew kray see.” I didn't understand what he said so I said, “No ah blah ann glace,” which I didn't understand either but it worked for a guy who did that to me once.

Anyway the guy with the truck looked very confused and angry so I pointed to the picture I wanted and gave him a hundred dollar bill. He went in the truck and gave me the thing that looked like the picture and I took it and opened it and sure enough, it was what I wanted! An ice cream bar! I walked back to my car. As I made my car go away from there, I saw the guy in the truck, and I noticed he had a lot of golden teeth. He was waving to me like he liked me now. It's funny how people change…CHANGE! Suddenly I realized what I forgot!

I made my car go back and I caught up to him. I pressed the button on the door so the glass went away and said what my brother told me to say to the guy who drove a truck like that when I was a kid, “Grassy ass, seen your ass cream man!” he said, “Tay nod ah meese tore low ko green go.”

by numbsain...I'm part spanish so I can stereo kype, I mean type.

Don't forget if you don't vote for Obama you might as well shoot your own genitals off.