Thursday, May 15, 2008

Practice Makes Imperfect

The year is 6035. Humankind has transcended the corporeal form, synthesized down to the essential life force or “soul.” Unencumbered by physical mass, existing in an astral plane, having evolved to a state of pure consciousness, the light beings are as close to perfection as a life form can be. And wouldn't you know it, turns out perfection sucks.

Mulligan: Zzt zzzz (crackle) zzt (Fsst!) zzzzzzt-zt z-zzt zt...

Zenithbaum: Leave them alone.

Mulligan: Zzzt (crack-ackle) Why? Zzzt...

Zenithbaum: Because it just seems wrong.

Mulligan: Wrong? Have we regressed to an earlier stage of evolution? Are we back to the moral judgments of right and wrong?

Zenithbaum: Of course not, but focusing ones convector beam for the purpose of incinerating cockroaches just doesn't "feel" like the best use of our time.

Mulligan: I hate the bastards and they're really getting out of control zzzt! Die suckers!

Zenithbaum: They are to be the inheritors of the planet, the direct result of our deeds. In essence we created them.

Mulligan: No, we did not create cockroaches they were here long before us.

Zenithbaum: Yes but they were not 3 meters long, that was our doing. All because someone's direct ancestors had to continue fighting a war even after there were no soldiers with which to fight.

Mulligan: Well if someone's direct ancestors hadn't started the war in the first place...

Zenithbaum: We started it? That's a steaming' loaf of horse flop, we didn't start a damn thing...

Mulligan: Did too!

Zenithbaum: Did not!

Mulligan: Did too!

Zenithbaum: Did not!

Mulligan: Did too!

Zenithbaum: RESET!

Mulligan: Yes I concur. There is very little potential to expand the emotional gamut once the "did not, did too" rally commences. Perhaps your superlatives were too damning and did not allow a counter argument to develop.

Zenithbaum: Ah! Quite right, I was overzealous and, as they say, blew my wad too soon.

Mulligan: Quite understandable given the appeal of the reward...

Maternal pregen: interjection request, guardian override. Have you two almost completed your psycho-emotional regenerative sequence?

Zenithbaum: Very nearly. I feel we would benefit from one more cycle.

Mulligan: Yes, we have identified a technical obstacle which, if avoided, will allow us to exceed our previous cycle considerably. If we may

Maternal pregen: Granted. You may consume fifteen additional units.

Mulligan: Perfect. Would you prefer to be the antagonist and commit the initial aberrant behavior this time, Zenithbaum?

Zenithbaum: Certainly. Zzzt zzt Snap, crack zzztzzzzzzts...

Mulligan: Desist please!....

Zenithbaum: Zzzt Cracak-crackle zzt zzzzt. Oh, Must I?...

by numbsain..
.“the future, coming soon”

Brought to you by:
Planned Obsolescence Laboratories...We make bad things happen!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Numbsain, give us more, tell us for real?