"Much ado" (about nothing at all)-Political Song 3

Sung to "Making Love" (out of nothing at all)

-Air Supply-

(This song is dedicated to all you Ohio voters who boldly pulled down your pants and screwed the pooch last night! After all the talk of NAFTA, lost jobs in Ohio, poor state economy, and trade concerns, you went out and voted for one of the loudest mouthpieces FOR NAFTA! Great show! Way to rock the vote! So we here at Goldmind's Unwind want to salute you!)

(Hillary sings)

" I know just how to spin this

I know just how to lie.

I know just how to use the news

to pull the wool over your eyes!

I'll pretend that I hate NAFTA

It will be my latest scheme

And if you refer to my voting record

then I'll claim it's just a dream.

And I know that you will buy it

Anything that I tell you

Because as voters you're no smarter

Then a pile of dog poo

And I'll tell you I"m your savior

And I'll tell you not to cry

And I'll tell your moron ears

anything they want to hear

Just to get your fucking vote on my side.

I know the road to the White House

Lies through you slackjawed rubes

And in this diorama

there's no room for Obama

Who cares if he's black, I got boobs!

So I fooled the voters of Ohio

Yet I'm still set up to take a fall

So I'll scream about my minor victory

and make much ado out of nothing at all

(much ado)

Out of nothing at all"

(repeat)

(The voters sing)

"Everytime we see you on our big screen TV

we see the goat horns growing out of your hair.

But the media loves you, and licks your sagging woo woo

so we don't care.

We're searching for our minds, but they're useless and lost

and so we look up to a leader like you

You can use us like we're mindless machines

We're putty in your hands, you are our queen

We gotta follow you 'cause everything we know, you could engrave upon the head of a pin"

(O'bama sings)

"I love to watch you hedge and stumble

While I sit back and cock block

As I tally my delegates, night after night

And hear the dwindling sound of your clock.

Why would you make this race forever?

Why don't you concede your momentum is gone?

Why don't you take a long drive with my good friend Ted Kennedy

And become a book that a movie's based on.

What I'm trying to say here is Hillary

You really make my skin crawl

And I'm so sick of listening to your shit

Much ado...about nothing at all.

(much ado)

About nothing at all

(repeat)

A Tribute to our Wayward Leader

At left: Goldmind, founder of this site and daily inspiration, set out on an innocent trip to Disneyland about a month ago and has not been heard from since. It is feared by this writer that Goldmind's patented daisy duke ensemble may have led to his downfall in some "Blue Oyster Cult" bar on the left coast. Please come back to us Gold! There is no lead in our pencils
without you!

You're the Inspiration

(cue the music)

Goldmind....I wanted you tell you how I feel about you. I wanted you to know that my ideas are impotent without you.

So much of me is impotent without you.

And due to recent writer's block, I can only tell you how I feel in a song.

This is a ditty from "Chicago".

Goldmind....you're my Inspiration.

"You know this site was meant to be

A timeless blog to last forever

I need you here to edit me

Before I post pics of my member

You should know, the places my mind goes

while my hands are in my pants, on my knob

Where's my corn cob, baby

Got no meaning in my life

Got writer's constipation

Made references to my skin fife

and teenage fornication

Gold you gotta help me!

Before I do something crazy!

Like post compromising pics of me and a ewe!

And I know, yes I know that this a sad plea

Show's how deep my mind is in the gutter.

Now I know that I need help to keep clean

and not type words like "round ass covered in butter"

See there I go, dirty as a crack ho

twisted in the mind, blackened heart

muddied soul

The only meaning in my life

is drugs and masturbation

So without you here in my life

It's verbal menstruation

I gotta have you near me

Before I write about my pee pee

Come on save me Goldmind

Come on save me Goldmind

Yeah come on back to Numb and me

And we won't explore you anally

No one needs you more than we.....need......you"

(music still cued but fading)

Goldmind.....I hope you felt the passion in that song.

I hope you felt the need burning within me.

I hope you saw where my eroding thoughts are heading

Come back to us Gold.....

We love you....

Political Parody- Song 2

Goldmind's Unwind on Tour

(pictured below)

Recently, the writers at Goldmind's unwind had been asked by numerous readers and publicists to go on tour with our "act". Song Parodies, top ten lists, news flinches, holiday anecdotes, and secret pictures of Hillary Clinton nude sunbathing have headlined our tour to date. We were even able to stop for some tour photos, like the one above. Before you even ask, I'm the cute one. But I digress. In honor of the Goldmind Unwind American Tour, I, the cheese, wanted to share with you a previously unreleased hit in honor of Campaign '08.

"I Will Survive" (the voter's song)

(The democrat sings)

At first I was amazed,
I was mystified.
Kept thinking I had gone insane
Or that my eyes had lied
I’d spent so many nights
Wonderin’ who the dems would run
Which hired gun?
To get the big job done,
But what the hell?
Are they on crack?
They trucked out that scary fossil
With the hair all on her back
I’m gonna change the way I vote
I’m gonna run from Hillary
I’m gonna make a sign for Nader
And I’ll join the Green Party

But wait now whoa!
Just hold the door
Who’s this Obama?
Oh…another ramrod bore
We could be winning this election
Instead we’re gonna die
Like I’d vote for another Clinton
Or an inexperienced black guy
Oh no, not I!
I will survive!
I’ll find a candidate to love
Not a witch who fakes a cry
When she’s losing in the polls
When she’s raked over the coals
Oh yeah she lies
But I will survive (hey hey)

(and the republican sings)

It took all the strength I had
Not to fall apart
When I turned the TV on
And saw Mitt Romney’s broken heart
I spent so many nights
Wanting to comfort his hot wife
And stroke her gorgeous melons
While I sell shares of Metlife
My Wall street dream!
But now here’s Mccain!
Pining for the oval office
In his insanity again
How many times do you have to fail
Before you give up quietly?
And who’s that yuppie playing guitar?
What the hell’s a Huckabee?

Well holy Christ!
Just hold the phone!
What a lousy freak show,
all of them vying for the throne.
Just who’s the one who is responsible for this lot?
In this grand old party,
Is this the best we got?
A slow mormon?
A disturbed vet?
A banjo wielding right wing nut,
Am I making my point yet?
I”ve got all my life to wonder
Will the GOP go on
Will we survive?
Will we survive? (oh)

(and they both sing)

Sonofabitch!
What is the deal?
America’s asking itself
“Is this shit for real?”
Who is the moron who picks out these candidates?
Are they the product
Of relatives who fornicate?
Well, for one, not I!
We will survive!
If we have to move to Canada
And change our name to “Guy”
We’ve had it up to here
With the same shit every year
But we’ll survive
We will survive
We will survive……

Campaign '08, Song 1

"Sayin' A lie"

(sung to the tune of "Staying Alive"

with apologies to Barry Gibb)

Well you can tell by the way I'm losin' ground

The country's sick of me, don't want me around

They used to think I was elite

But Barack's using my face to wipe his feet

But it's alright, that's OK

I ain't gonna fade away

I'll just lie and cheat and scam

Until I've remade all that I am

We taught the whole nation

dishonest disertation

just by sayin' a lie, sayin' a lie

Hubby mastered all this

sayin' he don't know what "is" is

he was sayin' a lie, sayin' a lie

Ah ha ha ha

Sayin' a lie, Sayin' a lie

Ah ha ha ha

Sayin a lie.

(verse 2)

My chances are low but my hopes are high

I've ignored advice that I shouldn't try

Got residual effects from war imprisonment

and my sanity's long since absent

but that's alright, that's ok

I'll run for president anyway

Maybe while staring at Hillary

Voters will forget what's wrong with me

Will I be a power glutton

If I hold the red button

Gonna flay em' alive, flay em' alive

Mental faculties are all gone

Gonna get revenge on Saigon

Yes we'll flay em' alive. Flay em' alive.

Ah ha ha ha

flay em' alive, flay em' alive

Ah ha ha ha

Flay em' alive.

(and the voter's sing)

We're going nowhere.....somebody help us yeah

A FEW OF THE THINGS THAT I HATE

sung to the tune of "My Favorite Things"
_____________________________________________
Botox and face lifts and boob jobs on women,
Medical waste where you want to go swimmin',
Bush and his cronies deciding my fate,
These are a few of the things that I hate.

Twinkies and pop tarts and crunchy Doritos,
Transfats and dye in your bright orange cheetos,
Big fat pigs telling their wives to lose weight,
These are a few of the things that I hate.

Kids getting spanked when they need understanding,
Then when they fail they get more reprimanding,
Giving teens meds so they won't masturbate,
These are a few of the things that I hate.

When the sun shines, when life is great,
When I feel understood,
I simply remember the things that I hate,
And then I don't feel so good.

2nd chorus_____________________________________

Pop stars that show up for court in their jammies,
Rappers that thank Jesus Christ for their Grammys,
No separation between church and state,
These are a few of the things that I hate.

If you are rich then you don't need correction,
If you are poor you get lethal injection,
Marriage is legal as long as you're straight,
These are a few of the things that I hate.

Drivers on cellphones who don't pay attention,
Charges on phones bills that they failed to mention,
Groc'ry store club cards and mail in rebates,
These are a few things that everyone hates.

When my check comes, and it's not late,
When things go as they should,
I simply remember the things that I hate,
And then I don't feel so good.
____________________________________
Lyrics by numbsain's sister, jaheermi
with a little help from numbsain.