When Dr. Frankenschtöen created his monster, his impulsive young assistant, Eagor made the classic apprentice mistake and thought: "That looks easy!" So late that evening, he sneaked back into "Monsters N' Things" after business hours and dug around in the organic trash bin. It was slim pickin's, just a handful of severed digits and some cartilage, but he would have to make do... (No, he held it until afterward.) He placed the fleshy mass on the re-animation table and connected the electrodes. Just then a bolt of lightning conveniently struck the antenna on the roof sending millions of volts coursing through the... stuff, and sure enough... IT'S ALIVE! He shouted. (Stupidly, because it got the dogs to barking and he wasn't supposed to be in there.) But Eagor had done it! Well, sort of, he didn't have enough parts for a really good monster. After playing with it for a few minutes he was bored so he deep fried it and sold it with a bucket of chicken at KFC where he worked part time. Well I'll tell you one thing, I wont eat there anymore but that's how I ended up with... *GAG* ...Fingers!
Fingers: Let's kill everyone, daddy. Then it will just be you and me... and were the same, huh daddy? Aren't we? Aren't we, daddy? ...Daddy?
Daddy: No Fingers, we're not the same. I'm a human being, you're a disgusting genetic mutant.
Fingers: But you love me, right daddy?
Daddy: To be honest fingers, I have to say.... not even slightly, now shut your pie-hole you wretch.
Fingers: Oh...Can I drive, daddy? Please? I wanna drive the car, daddy. Can I? Huh, daddy? Can I? Can I? Please? Can I, daddy? Daddy? DADDY?
Daddy: SHUT THE HELL UP!!!
Fingers: No. I'm not going to shut up until you let me drive the car.
Daddy: Oh Jeezus Aitch Frikken Christ! Go ahead. I don't give a shit anymore.
Fingers: Wheeeee! This is fun! I'm a good driver huh, daddy? Oops!!
A pedestrian: AAAAAaaahuk! (FLUBUMP! SQUISH!)
Fingers: uh-oh!
Daddy: Fingers you idiot!!!! You just killed a pedestrian!!!! WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!!
Fingers: Can I get ice cream, Daddy? Please? Daddy Please? I want ice cream!
Daddy: Oh my god! I can't believe you just killed a person in cold blood and now you want ice cream?
Fingers: We're the same, huh daddy!
Daddy: STOP SAYING THAT! We're not the same! Not even close! Look at you, you're a freak, a monster, you have no redeeming qualities! You can't even die because you're not really alive in the first place! You disgust and horrify everyone who sees you and if I could figure out a way to destroy you, I would do it in a heart beat, something you don't even have!!! Now what flavor do you want you little shit!?
Fingers: can I have 27 scoops?
Daddy: IF I CAN SHOVE THEM UP YOUR...
Fingers: I don't have a nose daddy.
Baskin Robbins Employee: SIR! That's no way to talk to a child!
Daddy: CHILD!? Does this look like a child to you?
Baskin Robbins Employee: Wow that's a really gross toy! where'd you buy it!
Fingers: Hello.
Baskin Robbins Employee: SCREEEEEEEEEEEEECH! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT THING? GET IT THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!!!
Fingers: Do you have pralines and carne asada? Look daddy, she fainted. Let's stomp on her head and steal all the ice cream!
To be continued...
by numbsain
