Friday, December 28, 2007

GREAT MOMENTS IN ADVERTISING


In the 50's A small ad firm put several entrepreneurs on the map with their direct no nonsense approach to slogan and corporate image design. Let's listen in on history in the making, shall we...

The Boss: Okay, what's on deck?

J.B.: Well sir, the client is Melvin Spitz and he wants to open a restaurant on the side of the highway.

Hodgkins:
A hamburger-stand type of thing, Sir.

The Boss: Okay so what does he wanna gonna call his place?

J.B.: Well he had some ideas he thought were really clever...

The Boss:
Oh brother, let's hear 'em.

Hodgkins: "Highway Burgery" "The Skid Mark" or "Burger Brake" and it's spelled like the brakes of a car...

The Boss: Oh my god, I hope we're not too late to save this man from himself... Okay what did you guys come up with?

J.B.: Well sir, you have so much more experience with this, we were hoping you'd tell us...

The Boss: WHAT THE HELL AM I PAYING YOU BUMS FOR?!?! AT LEAST TRY TO USE YOUR BRAINS!!!!

Hodgkins:
...Uh, M-M-Melvin Spitz by the side of the highway?

The Boss: You're both fired! Get the hell out of my office!

Hodgkins: Yes sir, Sorry sir.

The Boss: Get back in here! We've got work to do. Now first of all nobody wants to go eat on the side of the highway. People like to go "in" somewhere. makes 'em feel special.

Hodgkins: Melvin Spitz "in" the highway?

The Boss: Oh I can see it now, "Can I take your order? Vroom Screeeeech! ‘SPLAT!" We gotta put Melvin in a nice place! Talk to me boys.

J.B.: How about a house, no a room, "Melvin Spitz in a room?"

Hodgkins:
No J.B. the boss wants us to think outside the box remember?

The Boss: Actually Hodgkins, thinking outside the box never seems to work for you guys. Just think inside the box.

Hodgkins: "Melvin Spitz in the Box!"

The Boss: Better, but the names gotta go. He needs a catchier name, something with some pizazz.

J.B.: Steve in the Box?

The Boss: You call that pizazz?!

Hodgkins: Clyde in the Box?

The Boss: Even worse! Come on you guys, I'm falling asleep over hear.

J.B.: Ralph in the Box?

The Boss: HORRIBLE!

Hodgkins: Vinnie in the box?

The Boss: Look you guys are jacking me around here, What the hell do I pay you bums for? You ain't doing Jack for me!

J.B.: That's it! "Jack In the box!"

The Boss: You just earned your paycheck J.B., Ship it!

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FAUX PAS-MOBILE

In 1989 Ford introduced a sporty little coupe with a name that really should have been nixed before it ever hit the showroom floor. The scene opens in a meeting at the Ford Motor Co. Creative Department.

Henry Jr.: Okay Billingsly, we're at the deadline here. Manufacturing needs a name for the new sport coupe so they can start casting the logos. What have you got for me?

Billingsly: Well sir, we have narrowed it down to three choices: The Ford Pony, The Ford Slingshot, or my personal favorite The Ford Probe...

Henry Jr.: Are you kidding me? Those are the choices? Those are the worst names I've ever heard in my life!!! Who the hell is gonna buy a car called a "probe?" What are you thinking billingsly?

Secretary: Sir, It's your wife on line 7...

Henry Jr.: Put her on speaker...

Secretary: Uh, Sir, I think you'd better pick up.

Henry Jr.: (click) What's the problem Stephanie?...

Secretary: Your wife is very angry sir, apparently she found a pair of my panties under the seat of your other car sir... I'm sorry... She's talking about a divorce.

Henry Jr.: Uh, I gotta take care of some personal business Billingsly, meetings over.

Billingsly: But Sir, the deadline, what are we going to call the car?

Henry Jr.: Look, I don't care about that right now! Just... do whatever you want, get outta my office!

And thus the Ford Probe was born. At least it represented the first example of truth in advertising as the Ford Motor Company really stuck it to it's customers with this lemon.