Tuesday, October 30, 2007

The Not So Scary Tale of the Possessed Kapok Tree

Within the fiery catacombs of hell, there once lived seven tremendously evil demons. For sport, they would spin their heads around backwards, elongate their pierced tongues, speak drunken gibberish, or dance counterclockwise around horned beasts while chanting cryptic Latin phrases.

Eternity is a long time so, despite their playful activities, the seven demons soon became bored. Eventually, the demons worked up the courage to approach Old Scratch himself—Satan—to ask permission to leave Hell in order to temporarily dwell in the space/time dimension of mortal man.

“Okay,” whispered Lucifer menacingly, while playing Solitaire. So the seven demons left Hades through a spiral portal to reach the human dimension. Soon, they arrived in a remote forest in the central Amazon Basin between the Negro and Japura Rivers, the two main tributaries of the Amazon. The Amana Reserve contains spectacular and untouched biodiversity with the highest concentration of the endangered Amazonian manatees in the whole Amazon Basin. The complex also supports river dolphins, black caimans, anacondas, jaguars, black uakari monkeys, harpy eagles, and a host of plant and freshwater wildlife.

Impatient and hungry, the demons were determined to possess a soul immediately. Not having acclimated their devil pupils to the intense solar light emanating from the rainforest, the demons inadvertently entered a Kapok Tree. So, the Kapok Tree became possessed.

Not long after, the animals indigenous to the rain forest noticed slight changes in the personality of the Kapok Tree. Irrespective of external weather conditions, the tree swayed left, right, backwards, or clockwise. Later, it began to secrete sap from its numerous pores. It began to shed limbs, which fell to the ground with thunderous explosions. Finally, it shed its leaves even though this was unseasonable.

After three weeks, having exhausted their repertoire of tricks, the demons became bored once again and made the journey back to Hell. And there they remain to this day. OR DO THEY? Bwaaaaahaaahaaaaa!!!!

~Goldmind