Thursday, February 21, 2008

Jiblitz & Gravy get “Jacked-Up”


Howdy Lemon Squeezers, Welcome to
Jiblitz & Gravy get “JACKED-UP”

Gravy: I'm Jiblitz!

Jiblitz: And I'm Gravy!

Gravy: Wanna squeeze the most outta yer lemon? We're the new ve-HICK-ular Auto-motivational Goo-roos so fergit about them Poop Boys and Aamco; you Aain'tco no more!

Jiblitz: You ain't just slappin' yer mud flaps Grav', all them other car me-Can’t-ics don't know their tranny from their fanny! If you got a Bentley we'll unbend it. If ya ding yer fender we'll give it the finger and offend it. If yer motor ain't motor-vated we'll git ‘er purrin’ like chicken quicker’n you can say...

Gravy: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Jiblitz, did you just say "purrin like a chicken?"

Jiblitz: I did.

Gravy: Okay, just chicken.

Jiblitz: Now, Here we got a 1999 Camaro. Thirst fling to do is to check the fluids. Pull out that dipstick...

Gravy: Joo just call me a dipshit?

Jiblitz: Not dipshit, stick-dick, DIP STICK! but if the shtick stinks, stick it where the ship don't sink! Shit man, think!

Gravy: HUH?!

Jiblitz: Nevermind, this son of a Mitzubishi done stalled on the crawlway
an' I had to call Triple-B fer a slow schmuck in a tow truck

Gravy: Triple-B?

Jiblitz: I cain't afford Triple-A

Gravy: How's the car-burrito and the park splugs

Jiblitz: Couldn't find 'em cuz the damn fool-injectors were in the way.

Gravy: It's gotta be sump'm in the drive train

Jiblitz: Where's that?

Gravy: that's everythang from the motor to the differential

Jiblitz: What's the differential?

Gravy: Oh, it makes a big differential. otherwise it could be electrical.

Jiblitz: There was a minor altercation when the altercater tried to assault the battery and I heard the steerin' column a rear axe-hole and that shocks the sensors so the master cylinder struts in with Rod and the main bearings and they're piston call the lug nuts for starters so the hub caps off and belts the hose right in the clutch and they can't condenser to coolant so they muffler with the airbag, but she had a nice rack in my 'pinion. I'd odometer right now in fact...

Gravy: BAD GASKET JIBLITZ!! Exhaust pipe down an' cruise control yerself!

Jiblitz: Sorry Grav' ...forget the Camaro and take a looky lube at my El Camino.

Gravy: Uh-oh El Caminonly one thing...

Jiblitz: El Comonover here.

Gravy: Whats wrong with it?

Jiblitz: It just keeps breakin'

Gravy: even when you take yer foot off?

Jiblitz: Take my foot off!?

Gravy: it won't stop brakin' til ya take your foot off.

Jiblitz: But I like my foot?

Gravy: Just give it a break.

Jiblitz: then I'll have a broken foot!

Gravy: Not your foot, steppid: don't stoop on the brake!

Jiblitz: I ain't steppid on it

Gravy: And did it brake?

Jiblitz: Nope

Gravy: Then whyja think we need brakes?

Jiblitz: Cause we work too hard!

Well, that's our chauffeur today. Stay tuned-up for next time when we'll welcome NASCAR champion Ernest Dalehardt—He's got a real nass car and we're gwanna rip it apart and have a li'l fun wit 'im.

GOODNIGHT! DRIVE CRAZY!

Jiblitz & Gravy was brought to you by:
Guy Co. Muff divers
Peep Boys Auto & Body Parts
EZ lubed Girls
Shotgun Charlie's Pick Yer Part and Run...“If you can git outta here alive wit it, it's yours!”

by numbsain

2 comments:

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