Percival: Brock?
[Footsteps in the kitchen]
Percival: Brock?... Bro-ock?
[More banging around in the kitchen]
Percival: Oh, Bro-o-ock? ...Brock, is that you?
[Loud thumping and then footsteps coming closer]
Percival: Brock, this isn't funny... Brock you're scaring me.
Brock: BOO! Ha ha ha, gotcha!
Percival: Aaaawk! Jeez Brock! you scared the shit out of me.
Brock: Good thing I put fresh paper on the bottom of your cage. Ha ha!
Percival: Pretty Bad, Pretty Bad.
Brock: Hey Percy, I gotta go out for a minute. What do you want to listen to?
Percival: Bach.
Brock: Rock?
Percival: No, Ba-a-ch!
Brock: Rock it is.
Percival: You suck Brock.
[HEY MIS-TER TAM-BOUR-INE MAN PLAY A SONG FOR ME...]
Brock: See ya later Percy!
[SLAM]
Percival: God, I hate this song.
[A few minutes later, footsteps in the kitchen again]
Percival: Brock?
Burglar 1: Hey did you hear that?
Burglar 2: Sounds like a bird.
Percival: Oh shit...
Burglar 1: Look here he is! It looks like one of those expensive talking birds. How much do you think it's worth?
Percival: Cheap, cheap-cheap... very cheap.
Burglar 2: Leave it alone man, it's just a cheap bird.
Percival: Cheap, cheap (Whew!)
Burglar 1: Just grab the stereo and let's get out of here.
Percival: (Please, take the damn stereo)
[THERE IS A SEA-SON... TURN, TURN, TUR—]
Burglar 2: Hurry dude, let's go!
[SLAM!]
Percival: Ah, peace and quiet at last!
[A few minutes later Brock arrives back with a girl]
Brock: C'mon in Polly.
Polly: Hey, nice place ya got here.
Brock: Thanks, yeah, surfing competitions have been really good to me.
Percival: What a CROCK!
Polly: Wow, really? you must be good.
Percival: Liar Liar: Brock.
Brock: Oh don't listen to that stupid bird, he doesn't know what he's saying half the time. Hey Percival, I'd like you to meet Polly.
Percival: Polly: what a crack ho.
Polly: What did he just call me?
Brock: He's just hungry. He prob'ly wants a cracker, I'll be right back.
Polly: Oh. ...Hey wheres your bathroom... Brock?
Percival: Polly wanna crapper? End of the hall, end of the hall.
Polly: Oh thanks Percival.
Brock: I'm back, hey, where'd she go? HEY! What happened to my stereo!? That bitch, she left and took my stereo! I can't freakin' believe it!
Percival: Prob'ly wanna smack her.
Brock: Actually, it was a shitty stereo, I was hoping to get laid, Damn!
[Just then Polly comes out of the bathroom wearing nothing but a smile]
Brock: There you are! DAMN girl, you look...
Percival: Cheap! Cheap!
Polly: Didn't you say you had a jacuzzi?
Brock: Right this way, my dear...
Percival: Hey, aren't you forgetting something? My cracker? Brock? BROCK?
by numbsain
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