Wednesday, February 13, 2008

PERCIVAL.... an African grey matter


[Footsteps in the kitchen]

Percival: Brock?... Bro-ock?

[More banging around in the kitchen]

Percival: Oh, Bro-o-ock? ...Brock, is that you?

[Loud thumping and then footsteps coming closer]

Percival: Brock, this isn't funny... Brock you're scaring me.

Brock: BOO! Ha ha ha, gotcha!

Percival: Aaaawk! Jeez Brock! you scared the shit out of me.

Brock: Good thing I put fresh paper on the bottom of your cage. Ha ha!

Percival: Pretty Bad, Pretty Bad.

Brock: Hey Percy, I gotta go out for a minute. What do you want to listen to?

Percival: Bach.

Brock: Rock?

No, Ba-a-ch!

Brock: Rock it is.

Percival: You suck Brock.


See ya later Percy!


Percival: God, I hate this song.

[A few minutes later, footsteps in the kitchen again]

Percival: Brock?

Burglar 1: Hey did you hear that?

Burglar 2: Sounds like a bird.

Oh shit...

Burglar 1: Look here he is! It looks like one of those expensive talking birds. How much do you think it's worth?

Percival: Cheap, cheap-cheap... very cheap.

Burglar 2: Leave it alone man, it's just a cheap bird.

Percival: Cheap, cheap (Whew!)

Burglar 1: Just grab the stereo and let's get out of here.

Percival: (Please, take the damn stereo)


Burglar 2: Hurry dude, let's go!


Percival: Ah, peace and quiet at last!

[A few minutes later Brock arrives back with a girl]

Brock: C'mon in Polly.

Polly: Hey, nice place ya got here.

Brock: Thanks, yeah, surfing competitions have been really good to me.

Percival: What a CROCK!

Polly: Wow, really? you must be good.

Percival: Liar Liar: Brock.

Brock: Oh don't listen to that stupid bird, he doesn't know what he's saying half the time. Hey Percival, I'd like you to meet Polly.

Percival: Polly: what a crack ho.

Polly: What did he just call me?

Brock: He's just hungry. He prob'ly wants a cracker, I'll be right back.

Polly: Oh. ...Hey wheres your bathroom... Brock?

Polly wanna crapper? End of the hall, end of the hall.

Polly: Oh thanks Percival.

Brock: I'm back, hey, where'd she go? HEY! What happened to my stereo!? That bitch, she left and took my stereo! I can't freakin' believe it!

Percival: Prob'ly wanna smack her.

Brock: Actually, it was a shitty stereo, I was hoping to get laid, Damn!

[Just then Polly comes out of the bathroom wearing nothing but a smile]

There you are! DAMN girl, you look...

Percival: Cheap! Cheap!

Polly: Didn't you say you had a jacuzzi?

Brock: Right this way, my dear...

Percival: Hey, aren't you forgetting something? My cracker? Brock? BROCK?

by numbsain

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